Site maintained by: Morgan Maddren

 

Link Index
Etcetera
Feet
Gorillas
Stairs
Neosporin
Safety Gear
Hint
Small Type Fonts

Introduction
    Welcome to the world of cheap transportation - How to Walk, Run, Etcetera! On this site you can learn not only how to walk, but the other tricks of the trade as well. You will be immersed with knowledge about how to get up from this computer and go have some fun on your feet. You will be surprised to learn that you can do more than you ever thought you could do. This Technical Essay will also build your much needed confidence to do everything else. You will one day get up from the computer and say "Hello, World!"

A.) Standing
 1) Hey, all of us have to start somewhere! Keep both feet on the ground. Keep balance too; some people have fallen over because of poor balance. This makes me sad. I don't want you to fall too.

B.) Walking
 1) Start in a standing position. Many people fall at this point, so be careful.
 2) Maintain good balance - don't slouch, stand upright, not with hands on ground. That means the gorillas too.
 3) It's time to take your first step. To do this, pick your right foot up and shift your balance to the left and slightly backwards. You're halfway there.
 4) Move your foot 5-7 inches forward while maintaining balance.
 5) Finally, put your foot down. You've taken your first step!
 6) Repeat steps 3-6 alternating feet each time to walk great distances. Now we really get started!

This is the basic form of getting from point A to point B. You have gotten this far, but you need to be able to utilize these following tricks for more complex actions.

 C.) Walking Up and Down Stairs
 1) Place both feet firmly on ground. (Preferably near some stairs)
 2) Step with right or left foot as in walking, but raise foot higher than usual, on to the step, in fact.
 3) Shift balance forward, and move foot on the step. Warning! Make sure it is directly on. If you overshoot, you will hit the next step and fall over backwards! If you don't go far enough, then you only get a piece of the step and fall over backwards! It might get you an ouchie and someone will have to put some Neosporin on it. This is a hard step!
 4) Step down with your right foot and put all of your weight on it. You successfully went up the first step! Hurray!
 5) To go up more than one step, do steps 2-4 except alternate feet.

D.) Riding Escalators
 1) Escalators move quickly and the steps appear rapidly. Start with your feet firmly on the ground and quickly step onto a platform as it appears, bringing your other foot onto it as soon as possible. You can ride these babies for miles! They're fun!
 2) To get off, wait until you are at the zenith of the escalator and (literally) hop off. The timing is crucial! A second off, and you just landed a face plant!

E.) Running
 1) Running is a speedy form of walking where only one foot is touching the ground at a time. To do this, start like walking, but pick up the pace a little. Hop a little if you need to.
 2) Take care to keep balance centralized and stay fairly straight.
 3) If you fall, because of your momentum, you might slide and it will hurt way more than walking. You will have to put some more Neosporin on your ouchie. To prevent one from doing this: 1) Safety gear should be worn at all times. 2) Slow down if you start to fall.

F.) Jumping
 1) Jumping is actually quite simple. First place both feet firmly on the ground.
 2) Bend your knees and pick both feet up once! Try to pull yourself upwards as you do this. You will go upwards and leave the ground for a second only if you do this right. Warning! Do not bend knees too much or pull upwards too much you will go too far and will fall and i will have to come after you with the Neosporin again!

G.) Running Underwater during a Hailstorm in the middle of summer carrying a 100 lb. Candy Bar in a Straight jacket while playing Paddle ball and doing Yoga
 1) It seems pretty self explanatory to me! If your still having trouble, here's a hint.